Almost Anniversary Adventures 04-06-2025
Can I Escape?
He hurt me, cut me
Deep and true
Didn't fucking care
The harm he would do
Pain and tears
Bleed deep inside
Can I escape this pain?
Can I run and hide?
Can I escape the hurt?
Do I need to die inside?
Can I escape the emptiness?
Let go of the angriness?
Can I escape my life?
Why do I fucking hate his wife?
Now & Always
Was it just another lie?
Would he even give a fuck
If I were ready to give up and die?
š¢š
The Monster in Me
He turned me into the monsterā¦
The monster he showed me he could be.
The anger deep inside me can't set me free.
He said he loves meā¦butā¦I'm thinking he loves the way I made him feel about him more.
Was I just a fantasy, another side-effect of being a fetish-ized Whore?
šš¢
Anger
Anger
Fear
Fuck you,
Grab another beer
Anger
Insight
Buckle up for
An emotional fight
Anger
Insane
My love
Filled with pain
Anger
Annoyed
Karma
Can't avoid
Anger
Provoked
Acces to me
Revoked
Anger
Outraged
War on my heart
He waged
Anger
So Real
I don't want to
Feelā¦
šš¢šæ
Now I'm filled with angerā¦painā¦lossā¦
Questioning, did he love me or was I just another one of his sexual conquests?
I think he loves meā¦what we had was real for him tooā¦
He doesn't have what it takes to make me stop loving him. Not now, not ever, not even a little bitā¦I loved him the day he first kissed me and I'll love him every night I lay my head down to rest. Love like we have doesn't go awayā¦not nowā¦not alwayā¦not ever. I'll always love him, be in love with himā¦and a small part of me will probably always hold onto hope that somedayā¦
Anywaysā¦
As I start today the countdown to my Almost Anniversary Adventures of today, June 04, 2025 (at Scouts near Uniontown)...I am in a positive mindsetā¦and healing better than I thought in the immediate days preceding his verbal vomiting all over me on March 20, 2025.
I spent time at our park, Cedar Creek near the 70/51 exchange. I took some pics and te second a tear formed in my eyeā¦I wiped it away, willed my feelings to shut down and headed to the store. My new Daddy got me a new dress and a new bathing suit for tonight. I love being spoiled by people I fuck on the regular.
Ater I spent monthsā¦excruciatingly painful, deeply hurting, months filled with tears, fears, and the continual breaking of my heart over and over as I tried so hard to become his friendā¦
And he changed his mindā¦againā¦and did it is such a hurtful wayā¦.
He asked me how we could be friends without the emotional affairā¦
I'm not even sure that would be possible with him. I'll never stop being in love with him.
I didn't want to tell him I'd never put that wall up with himā¦I can'tā¦I won'tā¦what I thought we had wasā¦real and now & always for me.
The kind of love we haveā¦.can't be put into a box and put onto a shelf in our mindsā¦he'll never stop being in love with me, if he ever was to begin with.
I hate that I'm questioning his love for me. 2024 was so fucking amazingly beautiful as we were "usā. I love him and I miss him so much it hurts every second of every day.
Nopeā¦I'm crying now. So time to stop and finish this another time.
6:15pm - Let the Sexual Shenanigans Begin
I just arrived at Scouts. I'm early, I usually arrive early so I have time to check any urgent messages and take a second to relax for a minute before peoplāing.
It's beautiful and sunny out. The pool looks welcoming, I'm just not ready to go in yet. I'm missing him so much more today.
What coulda been won't leave my mindā¦it's playing on an endless loop since I left this afternoon around 3, it's 6:30. I'm almost ready to go in. I don't think I'm gonna cry. I drove past so many spots where we fucked on my way hereā¦I came close to uncontrollable tears, but it hasn't happenedā¦yet. I'm hoping the tears stay awayā¦
I want this hurt, loss, and emptiness I feel without him in my life to go away. I want him. I wish he wanted me too.
I'm hoping many people show up to fuck me. I need fucked well š
I put together a Fuck-It list for tonight. I'm hoping to cross each item offā¦with the pen from the hotel where he first filled my pussy with his bare cock.
I'm gonna bang them off, one by one. š
It's time to stop writing and go get readyā¦
After changing into my new bathing suit I relaxed on the pool steps for a few minutes. Unfortunately, the pool heater wasn't working (it should be fixed now)...with my rib injury, cold water seizes up the muscles surrounding my rib. It hurts. I didn't get my back wetā¦just relaxed in the cool water and enjoyed the sun warming my wanting to be devoured body.
Once I was relaxed and ready to play, I grabbed a friend and explored the outdoor grounds. My first visit to Scouts was in January, during a snowstorm š¤£ I was NOT looking outside then š¤£
We made our way behind the house where I found a volleyball court and a deck with a fire pit surrounded by chairs.
My new friend and I were joined by another man and they both started playing with my tittiesā¦outside on the deckā¦
It didn't take long before I was leading both men inside and downstairs to massage room
My new fuck friend #1 massaged my shoulders, standing near my head. My new fuck friend # 2 massaged my lower back, ass, and legs. (sexy tip: bring your own massage oil/lotion)
After enjoying several minutes of four hands massaging and exploring my backside, i looked up and the man who was massaging my shoulders was fully erect and happened to be perfectly placed for my mouth to massage his cock. š
Have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy sucking dick? It's like artā¦each cock a different shape, size, girthā¦each a new canvas for which I can create beautiful, artistic, sexual pleasure. Sucking cock is an art form.
My two new friends and I moved to the orgy room where I took turns sucking one cock while fucking the otherā¦until we were hot, sweaty, and they were covered in my cum. š
After my first rendezvous, it was break time. My back needs extra care and attention right now while my muscles heal enough for me to have surgery (2026) The pool water was too cool and started to seize up my muscles; my sensual 2 man massage helped a bitā¦
A sensual massage with the goals of fucking is not the type of massage my back needs to help help my muscles relaxed.
I took my pool stuff to the truck. It'll be better used taking pics near and/or in a waterfallā¦especially the white bikini bottoms I grabbed. š
1 dress
1 bathing suit
1 bikini bottoms
2 cold smart waters
$25
ā Telling Daddy about my adventures without my clothes on = priceless š
I love being spoiledā¦but let's be real, I don't want another $500 dressā¦.I want to go to Burlington and get 2 dresses for 13.69 each. š¤·āāļøš¤£ and then have someone(s) take it off of meā¦with their teeth šš¤
Anywaysā¦back to my Almost Anniversary Adventuresā¦
#3, a new fuck friend, wanted to check out a private room. I picked a room that has a mirror angled on the ceiling so people can watch us through the mirror from outside of our room.
I sucked his cock until I couldn't wait to feel him inside meā¦
I grabbed a condom and put it on with my mouth before getting into the doggy positing for his cock to slowly slide inside meā¦making sure I feel every inch of his hard dick. I put my hands on the wall so I could push back against him as he pounded my pussy. Pushing back as he is thrusting in makes the fucking that much harder š
Multiple orgasms later he turned me onto my back to continue my pussy pounding until he got close.
He removed the condom and came on my glassesā¦the blue glasses that I got to match my outfits for our Final Fuck Goodbye. ExD asked me that day when he saw my outfit if I got the glasses just to match, of course he already knew the answerā¦absolutely I did.
(read about our amazing goodbye sex on Fetlife here
https://fetlife.com/ShortyAndTheb/posts/12239268 )
After my glasses and face were cummed on, I hopped in the shower, however, I took my pool things to the truck, including my towel š³ oops. Thank you to the sexy man who let me use his towel to dry off with. I appreciate you š
After my shower I ran into a fuck friend I've played with one-on-one before. We went into a private room so he could help me cross off an item on my Fuck-It List - cumming on my first copy of Breaking Up In Real Time (get the PDF emailed to you for FREE, just let me know what email to send it to https://surveyheart.com/form/680d24b8a5306f669b318db6 )
My familiar fuck friend, fuck friend #4 of the night, licked me to orgasm twice before we fucked.
When he was getting close, he laid down on his back, I removed the condom and sucked his cock just enough to get it naturally lubed up so I could jerk him off onto my book.
We chatted a bit after our sexual escapades about if I had him cum on my first book out of angerā¦no, not at all. I planned on attending Scouts on what would've been our anniversary because I didn't want to spend my evening crying.
ExD was probably the only person ever I was a cum slut forā¦he loved it. He loved watching the videos I'd take for him when I'd fuck other menā¦especially when they'd cum on me. Someday, if he ever reads thisā¦and isn't sad/mad/avoidant/etcā¦I bet he'll jerk off to the fact that I jerked a nice cock off onto the book about usā¦ending. It'll be bittersweetā¦
And probably hella good for himā¦we don't talk enough about sexual self-care men need. By jacking off to something that makes him hardā¦even if he's still hurtingā¦he'll start to slowly, inch by inch, replace some of that hurt and start to associate with the good, happy, loving parts of what we were. Replacing pain by healing through sexual pleasure is a powerful self-care tool that can be amazing for our mental health.
Noā¦I didn't have men cum on my glasses, book, or anything else out of anger or disrespectā¦I did it, because this will probably be the last sexual adventure I write with him in mindā¦I write to himā¦which is where my Erotica writing started Spring 2024ā¦it was all a sexual love story to a man I miss so fucking muchā¦there is a piece of me missing.
Anywaysā¦
Next up, #5, was a new fuck friend that fucked me doggy, quick, hard, fuckingā¦I came a few times before he finished. Fuckā¦sometimes it's just perfect to fuck me like this. Especially in a club setting where there are lots of adventures to be had.
When we were finished, I cleaned up and met him at the bar. He brought a few cold Smart Waters and a Hershey's bar for me. I grabbed a Smart Water from the fridge and chatted with my fuck friend as I rested and relaxed my rib area. (There is a fridge for your use at the club in the bar area.)
A regular at the club approached us, asking if we were together. I said no, he's just a new friend I met tonight. After the 3 of us conversed for a few, new fuck friend #6 asked if I wanted to playā¦yes please!
We made our way into the orgy room where we had a great time exploring each other's bodiesā¦licking, sucking, fuckingā¦making me cumā¦he definitely knew what he was doing.
After he came, he licked my pussy until I came again. There is something so sexy about fucking a man who understands sex doesn't always have to end with the male orgasm.
We have a one-on-on play date scheduled soon š
Next I had an enjoyable time fucking #7 new fuck friend. After we were finished, I needed to take a break as we chatted, hot and sweaty, before I got cleaned up. He shared a lot about Club Pittsburgh. If you happen to read this, DM me on Fetlife, I'd love to continue our conversation.
#8 & #9 joined me in a private room for some spit-roasting funā¦sucking one while getting fucked from behind then switchingā¦over and over till both finished, fucking me. They cleaned up, put their condoms in the trash, wiped down the bedā¦then seemed to have left. They came, they fucked, they came, they left. Fun fuckery for them š and meā¦
To finish up my fun, I needed my muscles to relax again. I grabbed a few guys and headed into the massage table room. (#10, 11, 12, repeat)
After massaging, and me finding a few cocks to give a mini-mouth-massage toā¦we moved into the porn room. We fucked and I suckedā¦and a new fuck friend #13 joined our adventures after watching for a few minutes.
Lots of condoms ended up on the floorā¦
I needed a break to get something to eat. I intended on leaving around 10pm and grabbing something on my way home.
It was almost 1am and I didn't eat dinner yet. I grabbed a snack out of my bag. After I went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready to go.
Returning to the porn room, a fuck friend was still ready for a little more of my pussyā¦
We fucked for another 15 minutes, and a few more orgasms then I went home.
I didn't cry that night. I sat on my couch and ate the Hershey's bar he got me the day we broke up. He got me 2 that dayā¦I kept the second for when I finally let go of hope.
As I ate it, I tried to think about our amazing times we hadā¦that started to make me sad, because we don't have them now. I took a Xanax and went to bed before I started to cry.
Someone also shot their load onto my ADIDAS - ExD loved that they were my fuck shoes. I just don't remember whoā¦but I do have a pic in the gallery!
March 11, 2025
I tried to write this 2 days agoā¦then I realized that 5 months to the day prior was the day we decided we needed to get together so we could break up and say goodbye to us.
I couldn't write this 2 days ago. 5 months ago I didn't want to say goodbye to us. 2 days ago I couldn't stop crying and my anxiety was insane. I never wanted to say goodbye to usā¦not for a single day since our lips first touched. š¢
The meditation I'm listening to as I write this is called Completion: In the cleansing flame, we burn everything that has become obsolete and free space for the new.
I need to burn the hope that he'll ever be backā¦that we'll ever be an us againā¦that I'll never feel what I once felt with himā¦
This is the last part of the story of me and ExD for the time being. I'm letting goā¦continuing to heal my heartā¦then I'm going to move on with what I want in my future.
December 29, 2024ā¦I had everything I wanted in life. I was happy, content, complete, fullā¦
Now a piece of me is missing. It will never stop hurting. I'll never stop loving him. I'll put that empty part of me on a mental shelf inside my mindā¦and someday, I'll look back at us, what we were, how amazing our love wasā¦and I'll smile without crying.
When that day comes, I'll be able to edit and publish the last and final book of the Breaking Up In Real Time Seriesā¦my journaled thoughts, feelings, and emotions from May of 2024 - January 09, 2025ā¦that's the beautiful, loving, passionate, sexy love story I wish never ended. I can't even open the document.
Somedayā¦
June 11, 2025
Feeling, Dealing, and Healingā¦
I'm not depressed anymoreā¦
I have lots of sad momentsā¦
I still feel a part of me empty without himā¦
My depression has finally lifted.
Iām healing.
When I think of ExD, I'm sad. Our beautiful memories we created on February 12, 2025 for our Final Fuck Goodbye won't be the first thing I think of when it comes to himā¦and that hurts. We had such a passionate, emotional, beautiful, sexual, sweet, and loving last time we kissedā¦last time we were usā¦
March 20, 2025 he tore that away from meā¦making the first thing I think of when I think of him is him telling me āI don't love youā...yeah, I know it was bullshitā¦but knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make the tears end. It doesn't fill the empty I feel now.
I think he was trying to say whatever he could that horrible day to try to convince me he is a bad personā¦who could hurt meā¦
Trying to convince me that I shouldn't love himā¦
The weirdly funny thing about hurt and love isā¦when we are hurting, we often hurt those we love the most. Why did he choose to hurt me that day instead of saying āthis is too hard for meā? Whyād he hurt me? We hurt those we love. He coulda ghosted meā¦but he knew that wouldn't do shitā¦because it didn't since 2018. He loved me thenā¦and he still loves me as I write this.
I get itā¦ishā¦I went through very similar feelings when I figured out I was polyamorous. I was a mess. I hurt people I love/loved. They hurt me. Feelings and emotions when it comes to love are hard and complicated.
I will always keep him in my heart. I love him, so much more than I know how to put into words. That won't go away. Not now, not ever. He will be in my heart, Now & Always.
I will always make room for him in my life, if he decides he wants me.
BUT right nowā¦he doesn't want me. And I don't want anyone who doesn't want me.
It's not about love. I love him. And he was either using me or he will always love me tooā¦
For me, we had that kinda love that will never go awayā¦he will always be one of my all time epic love stories.
I'm just sad that we're not even friends and when I think about him, I think about how sad I am that he's not in my lifeā¦he said mean things to me, about me, then ghosted meā¦ghosted me š¢ something he promised not to do when he was ready to date me in January 2024.
I knew what I was signing up for in 2024ā¦
And I told him that he couldn't ghost me anymoreā¦and he didā¦
Now I'm done. I'm done allowing the hurt and tears to take over my life.
I have new adventures already happeningā¦
With a new Daddy dynamic I need to really help me healā¦and put my life back together how I want it to beā¦
Of course, I'm documenting our adventures
Stay tunedā¦
Coming soonā¦
Thanks for reading about my adventures with sex, love, and heartbreak. š„° I appreciate you.
Kisses š
Shorty
Remember: Your Self-Worth is Worthy of being centered in your life and your healing journey.
Don't ever chase anyone who doesn't want you. If it's meant to beā¦it'll find a way, exactly when it's meant to.
ExD doesn't want meā¦why would I want anyone who doesn't want me?
It doesn't mean I don't love himā¦it means I'm letting goā¦
Video of my titties and burning what's no longer needed to take up space in my life will be on Fetlife soon š (yes you have to support Fetlife to see videos)
More photos are in the photo section. Supporting Patreon members, Snap members, and KissesShorty.com members will have the password.
Those who help $support my sexual shenanigans, thank you very much! I appreciate you. This allows me to get the things I need to have my adventures, write about them, and find more adventures as I heal from my rib injury. I appreciate your support very much!
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